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Most Common Reason Why Marriage Fail
Good Day to you all my beloved brother and sister in Christ, I would love to share most common reasons why most marriages failed.
The issue of marriage failure is becoming something else these days. Kindly read below and learn how to make your marriage stronger and happier.
1. Lack of Commitment to the Marriage
In several studies that asked people to choose from a list of important reasons for their divorce, lack of commitment came out at the top of the list. (As many as 85% of participants in one study gave this answer.) Interestingly enough, another study showed that lack of commitment was also the reason couples were most likely to agree on, although one spouse usually blamed the other for not working harder to save the marriage.
Lack of commitment can seem vague and hard to prove (or disprove), especially to the person who’s being blamed for the problem. The outward signs are often related to other reasons for divorce, like extramarital affairs, not being willing to talk about the relationship, and not working toward shared financial goals. That’s probably why so many people point to a lack of commitment as a significant cause of divorce—because they see it as the issue underlying a range of more obvious problems.
2. Incompatibility: Growing Apart Over Time
All those lawmakers who settled on “irreconcilable differences” as the basic ground for no-fault divorce were on to something. When asked why their marriages ended, a significant proportion of divorced people answer with some variation of “we grew apart,” “we drifted apart,” or “we were just incompatible” (up to 55% in one study). This concept of incompatibility could include other divorce reasons that came up in various studies, such as:
a lack of shared values
marrying too young (which makes growing apart more likely)
sexual difficulties, and
religious differences.
Of course, many couples live with and even relish their differences. But most successful marriages are based on a core of shared (or at least overlapping) interests, priorities, and values. Outward signs of incompatibility often go hand in hand with other common reasons for divorce—especially poor communication, which is next on the list.
3. Communication Problems
Around 50% of participants in various studies cited reasons for divorce that had to do with poor communication, like arguing too much and not being able to talk to each other. Here again, communication problems can be the cause of other reasons people give for divorce, such as conflict over money and family responsibilities.
It’s not hard to recognize when you’re arguing all the time with your spouse. But even if the fights aren’t that frequent or nasty, keep an eye out for repeated arguments about the same thing or disagreements that never really get resolved. That can be a sign that you need help learning how to communicate with each other more effectively, perhaps through couples therapy.
4. Extramarital Affairs
Although infidelity (or adultery) came up in every study we reviewed, its frequency among the reasons given for divorce varied from about 20% in one study to 60% in others.
This wide range could be a reflection of the fact that at least some divorced people consider an affair just the last straw after a string of other marital problems. Those other problems might be the reason someone goes outside the marriage for intimacy, excitement, or distraction—or even as an unconscious way of provoking the other spouse into calling an end to the marriage.
5. Financial Incompatibility: Money Disagreements
In different studies, about 40% of people said that financial problems—in particular, complaints about how their ex-spouse handled money—were a major reason they got divorced. Fights over money are often referred to as “financial incompatibility,” because they usually stem from differences in priorities and values around financial decisions.
Signs that you and your spouse are financially incompatible include when:
one of you keeps secrets or even outright lies about purchases or other financial decisions (like making investments or withdrawing money from savings)
one of you doesn’t consult the other before making large purchases or taking other steps that affect your joint finances
you can’t talk regularly (and calmly) about your finances
the two of you can’t or won’t set joint financial goals (like budgeting and saving to buy a house, have kids, or build a retirement nest egg), and
you set financial goals together, but one of you keeps subverting them.